“Death Is But A Dream”

Earlier this year I companioned a dying man who was experiencing the most profound and often distressing end-of-life-visions. In the month before his death, Mr. R was having daily conversations with his beloved dead. Weeks before his death, Mr. R’s visitations with the dead turned to agitation. He was particularly worried that he would miss his ride if he didn’t get out of that darned bed and outside. He talked ceaselessly of packing his suitcase, catching his ride, getting on the train, and often of the dead friend waiting for him.

Over the months of companioning this charismatic and gentle man, I grew close to his wife and caretaker. When Mr. R’s wife asked me why her husband was experiencing such vivid and constant visions, I found myself completely bereft of an explanation- I truly had no idea, no hypothesis, no folk wisdom, no theory from my training. My usual practice of extracting the answer to the question from the questioner was useless, we were all completely clueless. But I promised her I would try my hardest to find out and with this book, I have more of an idea though still much more reverence for the mystery than any certainty.

Dr. Christopher Kerr recounts over 1200 end-of-life visions that he compiled in his work as a hospice physician. In “Death Is But A Dream”, Dr. Kerr suggests that not only are end-of-life visions common but they are also integral in the journey of the dying person: “These end-of-life experiences help patients restore meaning, make sense of the dying process and assist in reclaiming it as an experience in which they have a say”.

I highly recommend this book to anyone curious about end-of-life visions. There are also excellent chapters on dying children, supporting those who are neurodivergent, and a truly beautiful chapter on caring for a dying person who has been married for many, many years.

Read this book if you:
🦋Love to read the candid stories of the dying
🦋Are curious about end-of-life visions
🦋In need of a good cry
🦋Grieving and seeking clarity on phenomena you observed
🦋Enjoy book/movie combinations - the documentary is also great!