My Practice

I think people are curious about what exactly the work of death midwifery looks like. I wish I had a sample schedule that I could share but the reality is that every day is totally unique, and my work ebbs and flows seasonally. I also see that it is highly specific to each death worker so my work reflects my unique calling, my current capacity and where wonder and awe are leading me.

I currently have one client, though she is my third this year. Most of the families I work with find me about six months before the loved one dies, though I’ve had a couple opportunities to serve just for planning or just for active dying support.

I find different seasons bring different work. Last year, I helped my dad write his advanced care plan and I developed a beautiful template to reflect his wishes. That spurred a period of compiling end of life wishes for community members, family and friends.

I see a direct link between how much community education I offer and how much outreach I see. Right now, my kids are in a season of growth and my home work is higher than usual so having one client is exactly right, which helps me trust the guiding hand even more.

When I first started this work, I volunteered over 100 hours a year. At that time, my donut chart would have been 90% bedside work. I found that to be really unsatisfying for me, once my confidence was grounded. It’s hard to be so on-call, to be so other-focused, and to be healthy enough to show up how I want, when I spent so much time in bedside service.

Mentorship allows me to teach what I’ve learned, community education encourages me to continue expanding my services to reflect what my local community needs, content creation is my grassroots death literacy activism. Grief support brings my work full circle. For me, it’s a cycle that has a harmony to it, particularly when I let go and tap into my intuition.

I’d be curious to hear what other deathworkers notice about their work and how they’re called to serve: is it cyclical for us all? Are we all practicing in these 5 areas or are there some spaces others serve that I don’t? Feedback desired!