Self-Help Books for Deathcare Workers
I haven’t posted many books this past month because my reading has been broader than usual, with a focus on literary fiction (my escape!) and self-help reading. But I’m thinking more about how my self-care is built upon a foundation of books. A major part of my self-help reading is to grow as a death midwife and to better understand those that I serve.
“The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck challenged me to look at my death midwifery practice honestly and assess where I am in alignment with my integrity and where I am not. This book was life-changing for me when I read it last month and I am still slowly digesting the wisdom it gifted me with. In listening to the cues my body is sending me about what brings me to a wholeness of spirit, I’m learning to honor who I am, what I think and what I want - my truth.
Anxiety is unavoidable in our culture and I picked up “The Anatomy of Anxiety” by Ellen Vora to help me better understand what is impacting my anxiety and to bring some additional awareness to what may be affecting the anxiety of those I serve in my work with the dying, the grieving and their caregivers. This book is brilliant, easy to read and both a useful guide and reference point. Though be warned: to take Vora’s advice to heart, you’ll have to rethink your relationship with caffeine, alcohol, gluten, dairy and sugar!
In all honesty, I’m still listening to “What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma Resilience and Healing” but I’m already relaxing into Oprah’s voice and unpacking Bruce Perry’s wisdom. This book is a must-read for a trauma informed library and will add so much dimension to understanding the complex family dynamics we see at end of life as well as the way the brain holds and stores the trauma of living. As always, Oprah offers us tremendous and hard-earned insight and shares it with breathtaking vulnerability. Dr. Perry is both a PhD and MD and brings his unique perspective that explain the science behind the personal experience Oprah relates.
Last, I read and posted about Kathryn Mannix’s stellar palliative care book, “With the End in Mind” recently and it prompted my purchase of her newer work, “Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations”. My death midwifery lately has been full of tender conversations about death , grief ,trauma, addiction and the overwhelm of caregiving. I often find myself wishing I had a little coach in my pocket to advise me on the spot. This book is exactly that.
As Deathworkers, we grow and learn as we companion each family on their journey. These resources help us continue our own growth to integrate most fully the experiences we are gifted with in our work. Happy reading!
