Does Death Get a Bad Rap?

Sometimes I think Death gets a bad rap.

We often see death occur with much suffering and the imprint in our collective consciousness is that death is full of pain, brutal side effects, and either an agonizingly slow wither or brutally swift hammer.

It seems to me that death itself is actually quite gentle, it’s the impact of modern medicine on declining bodies that can be so shockingly harsh.

Here's an example: think of the dog that goes under the house to die. She stops eating and drinking, finds a private, quiet space, and waits for Death to come. Take another dog, whose owners pursue every treatment for the same disease: chemo, then pharmacology for the side effects of the chemo, then IVs for hydration, etc. They’ve added weeks to her life, but at what cost? Which of those dying processes felt more gentle and cloaked in ease?

I think we need to do a better job of having the hard conversations about the cost of treatment on a diseased body BEFORE we begin pursuing that treatment. We need to flip the model which is currently treat first, then address each side effect as it appears, and then have a conversation about whether the side effects are worth the hope of the treatment.

Currently, we hand out the treatment plan with the diagnosis to soften the blow of mortality. But maybe Death, if we weren’t ravaging a body fighting her off to milk every single day, maybe Death is gentler than we give her credit for?

Maybe the natural process of dying has a design to it, like the flip side of pregnancy?

What do you think? Have you had medical care that discusses the cost of treatments before they were started? Is death the harsh one, in your experience, or is it the fight that's so brutal? I'm truly curious.

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